Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
