D3 body, D1 cock
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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