bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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