good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Boobs speak an international language.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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