ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
