Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Im part way to drunk.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize