I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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