we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I understand Curling. That high.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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