Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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