Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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