I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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