oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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