You were right. It hurts to walk today.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How does one acquire holy water?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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