well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
