so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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