Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.

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(847): 2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck. http://tfl.nu/qowh

Replies (8) Good night (7012) Bad night (956)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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(973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f

Replies (6) Good night (5766) Bad night (1158)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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(501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt

Replies (27) Good night (4626) Bad night (1153)
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(513): View more from Ohio

both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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(513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7

Replies (22) Good night (1879) Bad night (7405)
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(347): View more from New York

when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign

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(347): when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign http://tfl.nu/d21d

Replies (22) Good night (2961) Bad night (1568)
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(314): View more from Missouri

At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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(314): At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving? http://tfl.nu/o7j4

Replies (10) Good night (4499) Bad night (1044)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.

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(920): I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up. http://tfl.nu/mqfc

Replies (6) Good night (1734) Bad night (656)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?

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(780): So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends? http://tfl.nu/kqn5

Replies (5) Good night (3120) Bad night (784)
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(626): View more from California

wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?

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(626): wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex? http://tfl.nu/tokd

Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (847)
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(253): View more from Washington

When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!

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(253): When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?! http://tfl.nu/f0hc

Replies (12) Good night (668) Bad night (1732)
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(707): View more from California

Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...

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(707): Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost... http://tfl.nu/dlrx

Replies (1) Good night (1142) Bad night (1087)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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(309): Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. http://tfl.nu/8989

Replies (5) Good night (969) Bad night (735)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.

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(937): I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key. http://tfl.nu/73ox

Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (199)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird

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(816): Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird http://tfl.nu/90pn

Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (194)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.

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(423): Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx. http://tfl.nu/k6s4

Replies (6) Good night (615) Bad night (194)

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