weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.