Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.

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  (250): even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real. http://tfl.nu/de62
  Replies (29) Good night (4990) Bad night (572)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

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  (920): I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too. http://tfl.nu/1n8l
  Replies (13) Good night (1010) Bad night (3601)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i told him im from Canada, abortion is free

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  (613): i told him im from Canada, abortion is free http://tfl.nu/em2l
  Replies (137) Good night (4568) Bad night (1276)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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  (307): mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her. http://tfl.nu/aq8k
  Replies (11) Good night (6644) Bad night (1051)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have

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  (978): ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have http://tfl.nu/u3xa
  Replies (17) Good night (1223) Bad night (6013)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M

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  (443): He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M http://tfl.nu/4y0g
  Replies (34) Good night (922) Bad night (10659)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.

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  (801): She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex. http://tfl.nu/3ix3
  Replies (19) Good night (2421) Bad night (6168)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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  (847): If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen http://tfl.nu/f9bs
  Replies (4) Good night (3805) Bad night (1471)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots

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  (920): Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots http://tfl.nu/w4ec
  Replies (7) Good night (1308) Bad night (545)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.

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  (609): I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cul4
  Replies (4) Good night (1159) Bad night (483)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

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  (918): Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that http://tfl.nu/h4ec
  Replies (4) Good night (1586) Bad night (724)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.

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  (902): I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken. http://tfl.nu/cx45
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (344)
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  (433): View more from

  Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.

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  (433): Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car. http://tfl.nu/9azh
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (624)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?

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  (412): What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it? http://tfl.nu/fsay
  Replies (9) Good night (573) Bad night (358)
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  (831): View more from California

  we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well

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  (831): we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well http://tfl.nu/bl6g
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (256)

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