Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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(360): View more from Washington

i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(806): View more from Texas

Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.

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(312): View more from Illinois

guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to

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