Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing? http://tfl.nu/8p36
  Replies (26) Good night (1014) Bad night (3562)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it. http://tfl.nu/tlpk
  Replies (9) Good night (3749) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (+39): View more from

  my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+39): my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever. http://tfl.nu/kcqx
  Replies (8) Good night (2842) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2134) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure. http://tfl.nu/up4h
  Replies (11) Good night (2521) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign. http://tfl.nu/2tl8
  Replies (15) Good night (2582) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw
  Replies (8) Good night (1645) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not http://tfl.nu/br11
  Replies (10) Good night (1477) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend. http://tfl.nu/2nlp
  Replies (2) Good night (1990) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I am not being the messenger for your booty call.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I am not being the messenger for your booty call. (250): I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one. http://tfl.nu/rzt1
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight. http://tfl.nu/npw7
  Replies (14) Good night (483) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands... http://tfl.nu/zbxi
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  First was that we had pop tarts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Omg that was my second thought of the morning. (802): First was that we had pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/egcs
  Replies (0) Good night (395) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower" http://tfl.nu/rsrj
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes. http://tfl.nu/ob7s
  Replies (3) Good night (276) Bad night (113)

Randomize