you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What changed your mind?
Being sober
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
