Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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