we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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