Fuck appropriateness.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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