I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
