there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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