your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
