The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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