he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
