mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
