Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
