My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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