Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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