Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
