I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize