it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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