Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
