Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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