google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
