hotel room ftw
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
