I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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