are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
