Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
