We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
