your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
