shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
