I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
