Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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