Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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