he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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