Where is the hickey?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
