Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
