We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
