Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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