why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Randomize
