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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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