I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
