after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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