Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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