dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
PANTIES FOUND
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