Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize