it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
