is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
